When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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