Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
