What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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