Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
