allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
