So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
