i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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