who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
