I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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