Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize