please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize