What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
