can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
