WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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