we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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