You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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