FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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