I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Boobs speak an international language.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
