its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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