I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
