used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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