He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Found your dick twin last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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