I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
