Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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