Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
