I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
