FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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