is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
