Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
