Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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