He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize