you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
