You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
