Say something about gay babies.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
