I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
