Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
