remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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