walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Your penis caused this!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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