Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
