remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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