Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
