new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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