Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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