i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
