dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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