Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize