I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
