They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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