I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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