It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
