I think I died a long time ago.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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