it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
