Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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