absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
