...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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