You made me cry and you don't even care
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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