Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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