You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
