ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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