She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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