Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
